Mourning Comfort (P, P/T, J/C)
by PJ in NH
Summary: After an intensive search for B'Elanna, she is feared dead. How does Tom cope? Through it all can he teach Chakotay to woo the Captain?
1. Part 1

**Title: Mourning Comfort   
Contact: **[**kelhapam@worldpath.net**][1]**   
Series: VOY   
Rating: PG-13   
Code: P, P/T, J/C  
Date: 29 May 2000 **

Summary: After an intensive search for B'Elanna, she is feared dead. How does Tom cope? Through it all, can he teach Chakotay about how to woo a certain captain? 

Explanation: This story takes place late in Season Six. 

Disclaimer: Voyager owns all the characters, etc., I am just using the characters for a little fun and relaxation. 

Note of Appreciation. Special thanks to my patient beta readers: TrekGirl; P.J. Sutherland, and Ronda Sexton, they have stayed with me during the writing of this story, encouraging me to continue with only the gentlest of nagging. 

Email: kelhapam@worldpath.net 

Posting: OK to ASC. Please notify me if you post anywhere else. 

**Mourning Comfort  
May 2000**

by PJ in NH 

Fingers splayed against the viewport. Forehead resting against the coolness of the transparent aluminum. It was a familiar pose to anyone who had seen him since she had disappeared. His days since she left had revolved around little sleep, scant meals, and the waiting...always the waiting. 

* * * * * 

"I'm sorry to have called you down here so late, Captain, but..." A worried looking Harry Kim paused and motioned towards the lone occupant of the room. At the far end of the Aft View Area, a remote section of the ship that was used mostly for storage since their entry into the Delta Quadrant, his best friend Tom Paris stood gazing forlornly out the viewport. 

Janeway patted Kim on his shoulder. "You did the right thing, Harry. This has gone on too long. I thought if we didn't bother him, it would work itself out, but it obviously hasn't. It's time for this endless vigil of his to end." 

"It's been almost two months," Harry stated shaking his head sadly. "It's the same thing every day. Tom spends hours watching for her, and if he isn't here he's in Astrometrics using their sensors to conduct his search. I know he doesn't eat much, and I don't think he's getting much, if any, sleep. Last week when we stopped at that planet for shore leave, he didn't leave the ship." 

"He's just wasting away, even with the nutritional supplements the Doctor has been administering," Janeway noted taking into account how Tom Paris' clothing hung off him. "I've been so busy with diplomatic matters and trade negotiations, I didn't realize that he was still so depressed." Seeing Tom Paris still pining away for his lost love broke her heart. Patting Harry Kim reassuringly on the shoulder one more time, Janeway said, "I'll take care of it from here. Thanks for letting me know." 

"If you need..." 

"I'll know who to call," she finished. "You are a good friend to him, Harry. I hope, no I know, he appreciates it." 

Too choked up to reply, Harry he nodded instead. Casting one more worried look at Tom, he exited the room leaving the Captain alone with his best friend. 

Kathryn Janeway softly approached her former Chief Pilot, not wanting to startle him. Since B'Elanna Torres' shuttle was destroyed two months ago, during a routine away mission, Tom had refused to sit at the helm. He felt that he couldn't concentrate on his position, only being able to think about his lost mate. In fact, he had even given his one remaining pip to his captain, thus personally placing himself in the position of an observer again. This time though his observations were centered around looking for only one former Maquis. Janeway, fearing that he'd befall the same fate if he went in search of B'Elanna, had disabled all of his access codes to the ship's shuttles, which left only the resources available to him on board Voyager. His days, and probably most of his nights, now revolved around his lonely, faithful vigil, waiting for his lover to come back to him. 

It was time for his period of mourning to stop, Janeway concluded, or Tom would soon be following B'Elanna either to heaven or Sto-Vo-Kor. Gently she placed her hand upon his upper arm and squeezed gently. "Tom, we need to talk." 

If it hadn't been for a twitch of his eyebrow, she wouldn't have known that he had heard her. 

"Tom," she repeated. "You don't have to hold up the viewport. I assure you it won't fall in." 

Paris' lips curled ever so slightly upward, and a lone tear escaped one blue eye and coursed down his pale cheek. 

Janeway gave his arm another squeeze. "Come on, have a seat with me, so we can talk." 

Closing his eyes tightly, he nodded and let himself be guided, around various supply containers and finally over to a row of crates that was placed up against the wall. Janeway gently pressed him down onto one of the crates and took her place next to him. Examining his pale face, she saw that he had lost even more weight since she last had the opportunity to be with the pilot. His cheeks were sunken and the swollen dark circles under his eyes provided evidence that he hadn't been sleeping well either. 

"It's been over eight weeks, Tom, you need to come back to us. Harry and Neelix miss you, Tuvok and Chakotay miss you...even the ship misses you." 

"Voyager isn't Alice, Captain. She can't miss me," he replied tiredly. 

"But she does," she grabbed his right hand and held it firmly, trying not to dwell on how bony it felt. "Lately, if you listen when it is quiet," she whispered, "you can almost hear the ship cry. It's not the same on the bridge without you, Tom." 

Paris swallowed painfully and opened his mouth as if trying to speak, but no sound came out. 

"If you can't come back to the bridge, you have to find something to do. You can't spend your days in here, you have a life to live." 

"My...life...died when...she didn't come back, Captain," he choked out. 

Her grip tightened. "I know it feels that way but..." 

"You don't know anything!" Paris roared, surprising her. He tore our of her grasp, and buried his face in his hands. 

"Tell me then," Janeway urged, trying to remain calm. "Make me understand." 

She waited patiently for him to respond, noting the way his jaw clenched and how he fought for control. She knew that he had never been more emotionally fragile. Minutes past until he finally lowered his hands, to reveal his tear-stained faces and blood-shot eyes. Looking past the captain, Tom Paris fought for the right words. "She... she was and *is* still part of me, Captain," he tapped his chest. "No one understood me like she did. No one...loved me like she did. If I wasn't such a coward I'd be in Sto-Vo-Kor with her right now. I think maybe the only reason I haven't already walked the path to Sto-Vo-Kor, is because somewhere deep inside me something tells me that B'Elanna's still alive." He looked back at the Captain. "I think sometimes that I'm going insane." 

"We found the shuttle, Tom, it had been destroyed," Janeway instead reminded him, as gently as possible. "Tuvok said that no one could have survived." 

"I know what was said, Captain, I was there on the bridge. I saw the wreckage that was recovered, but we couldn't find her body, only Mitchell, her pilot. I feel that she's alive...that's all I know. My head says," he tapped his forehead, "that Tuvok is correct, but my heart," he placed his palm against his chest, "says she didn't die. I feel that somehow she'll come back to me." 

"Tom, we searched for days and didn't find anything. It would have been a miracle if she had survived. You have to face it, she's gone. It is time for you to start living again. Maybe it would help if we held that memorial service for her?" 

Frantic blue eyes locked onto her sympathetic gray ones. "We perform miracles everyday, Captain. You've said so yourself in the past. Is it too much to hope, to expect, that there's a miracle out there for me? Is it?" he pleaded. 

"Oh, Tom," she breathed and her eyes became wet and overflowing with tears. "You can't go on like this. B'Elanna wouldn't want you to. She loved you so much. You don't have to hold this vigil to prove that you loved her, she knew you did--we all did," Janeway reassured him. 

Fresh tears flooded his face. "How could she know, Captain?" 

"What do you mean?" 

He swallowed down a lump in his throat. "I...I never told her! Never," he finally admitted. "Not once did I have enough... courage to tell B'Elanna, a woman that meant the world to me, that I...loved her. Do you have any idea what I wouldn't give to hold her...in my arms right now and tell her? Do...you?" His voice broke with deep emotion, and he let himself be pulled into Kathryn Janeway's welcoming embrace. Crying his heart out on her shoulder, Janeway held him close. 

"She knew, Tom," she reassured him while she patted his back. "She knew." 

~~~~~ 

Clad in her peach silk nightgown, Kathryn Janeway leaned against the door to her sleeping area, her arms wrapped around her body. Watching the now quiet man asleep on her couch, she was thankful for her decision to bring him here. After they had left the Aft Viewing Area, she personally escorted him to her quarters, figuring that there were still too many memories back in his own cabin, even after eight weeks, for him to rest properly. Being physically and emotionally exhausted, he hadn't even protested. 

After they arrived she persuaded him to have a large cup of warm milk, which he did argue about, but finally drank then suggested that he kick off his boots and to take her bed for the night. He argued with her, saying that he should go back to his own quarters, so she compromised and offered him the couch. Despite his protests of only staying a moment, he was soon sound asleep, proving that her theory was correct. 

Only then after she was satisfied that he was resting comfortably, did she allow herself to retire for the night. 

* * * * * * 

One morning, over two weeks later, the Captain slipped out of her nightgown and stepped into the sonic shower. When she was finished, she pulled on her uniform, combed her hair, and added a spritz of cologne under each ear. The Captain then stepped smartly out of her cabin, but instead of turning right towards the bridge, like she had for over six years, she turned left and toward the turbolift which would take her to Deck 4, and Tom's cabin. There, as she had since the night after he had slept in her cabin, she'd meet him and both of them would walk to the mess hall for breakfast. 

Cheerfully greeting crewmen along the way, Janeway finally arrived at Tom's quarters and pressed the door chime. 

BRRREEPPP 

"I'll be right there, Captain!" Tom called out. He tugged down on his maroon top, brushed back his unruly hair, and quickly joined Janeway in the hall. "Sorry, I'm late, I'm afraid I overslept." 

She smiled and, noticing that his hair was sticking up in the back, smoothed it down with her hand. Tom blushed at the motherly attention. "No problem," I just got here. "I'm glad to see that you are sleeping better." 

"I am. I'm still not always successful, but you've made it easier. Considering all the velocity games we play, and all the 'Scenic Bicycle Rides Through Southern Europe' that Harry drags me along for, not to mention the guerilla style workouts that Chakotay goads me into participating, it's a wonder I stay awake at all." 

Janeway chuckled, and beckoned for him to accompany her to the mess hall. "Have we been that obvious?" 

Tom's eyes sparkled. "I don't mind. I know you wouldn't be doing all this if all of you didn't care." 

She smiled and nodded. 

Reaching the turbolift, Tom let the Captain enter first. "Deck 2, Mess Hall," he called out. "Velocity today?" 

"Maybe...or maybe something different. How would you feel about deep sea diving on the holodeck? I found a wonderful program in the ship's holodeck database. It's set on a reef off the shores of Tahiti." 

A vivid memory crashed over the pilot. He could still see B'Elanna and him, hand in hand strolling along a deserted Tahitian beach, not long after their experiences with those dream aliens. They had talked, walked, and afterwards, just as the sun was beginning to set, made mad passionate love on the beach with only the lapping of the surf and the whispering palm trees for company. Much later, in the moonlight, they swam in the warm ocean waters, naked as they day they were born... 

"Tom, are you okay?" Janeway asked interrupting his memory. She became concerned when she saw the smile slip from his face and his eyes become unfocused. What had she said? "Tom," she repeated and shook him lightly gripping his upper arm. "TOM, answer me." 

His eyes again focused on her. "Ah...I'm sorry, it's just--" He stopped, not quite knowing what to say. 

"Tell me," she urged. When he didn't reply immediately, she ordered the turbolift to stop. 

Tom could see that she meant business, so he took a deep breath and told her. "It's just that, B'Elanna and I had a er...special holodeck moment in Tahiti. I'm sorry, Captain, almost any other place, but Tahiti. I hope you can understand." 

Janeway smiled warmly. "Of course. How about something different then? Harry says that he's created an ice skating program. Would you like to give that a try?" 

He smiled expressing his gratitude. "That sounds perfect. I'll look forward to it." 

"Dress warm. I want this to be authentic," she cautioned. 

"Yes, ma'am," Paris drawled. Janeway's lips curled upwards and her heart warmed at the familiar words. 

"Computer, resume." 

* * * * * * 

Harry and Chakotay were already in the mess hall having their meals and talking with Seven of Nine and Marla Gilmore, when Tom and the Captain arrived. Paris and Janeway stopped to receive their breakfasts from Neelix and moved to join their friends. Walking toward the four, they were greeted by several other crewmembers, already eating their meals, with smiles or small waves. Tom and Kathryn smiled and nodded back in turn. Nearing their objective, they could see that Harry was in the middle of an anecdote and approached the group quietly not wanting to disturb them. 

"...I saw her approach and pause--silence can be deadly, I determined from the way she looked, and just when I thought I was going to get away with it, B'Elanna said..." Harry stopped suddenly when he realized that Tom and Janeway could hear his words. By the look on Tom's face, Harry could tell that he had heard the mention of B'Elanna. Since the Chief Engineer had been declared dead, Harry had tried very hard not to say B'Elanna's name in front of his friend, not wanting to dredge up any sad feelings. "I'm sorry, Tom, I didn't see you." 

Tom swallowed hard and cleared his throat before he replied thickly. "Please don't apologize, Harry...don't ever." He looked up to address the group. "You never hear her name mentioned any more, it's like she never served on this ship! One thing I don't want is for B'Elanna to be forgotten. That is one thing I just couldn't bear." 

"None of us would want that, Tom," Chakotay assured him. He had also noticed that people were reluctant to talk about B'Elanna Torres especially when Tom was around. "We were just telling Marla about a time not long after B'Elanna became Chief Engineer. Maybe you remember? Harry had been sent down to assist in Engineering after a Vidiian attack." 

Tom nodded, it sounded familiar. 

"Yeah, I hadn't known B'Elanna very long. When I got down to Engineering, she assigned me the job of realigning the port nacelle's frequency," Harry continued. "Well, I did as I'd been asked, and when I couldn't find B'Elanna to receive another assignment, I went ahead and began to adjust the warp core relays." 

Tom rolled his eyes, and the Captain grinned. They could almost imagine what had happened next. 

"Well, I was about halfway done when this streak of rage approached me...B'Elanna," Harry smiled, fondly remembering the moment. "She roared so loud the deck plates seemed to rattle. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I'll never forget it--she said: 'What the hell do you think you're doing with *MY* WARP CORE!!!!' 

"I was so scared I couldn't even talk. My jaw hung loose, and I must have looked like some kind of dazed marionette. Finally, I started to make some sounds, but it was a cross between a stammer and a hiccup, nothing made any sense. Then the most unexpected thing happened," he continued, his audience completely enthralled in his narrative. 

"B'Elanna Torres, our fiery Chief Engineer, who had broken Joe Carey's nose for less than what I had done, laughed. It really was more like a full belly-laugh. She laughed so hard at my terrified expression that tears rolled down her cheeks. At first the engineers first just stared, not knowing what to make of it all, then someone giggled and that set the rest of them off." Harry shook his head at the memory, grinning broadly from ear to ear. "I eventually realized that I wasn't going to die today, and despite my own nervousness and... yeah, fear, I found myself laughing too. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment." 

"I remember B'Elanna telling me about that," Chakotay replied adding to the tale. "The thought of it would bring a smile to her face every time she told the story. She thought you were going to...um...to be frank...," Chakotay chuckled, "...wet yourself, Harry, you looked so scared." 

"I might have," Harry replied, blushing all over, "but I was too frightened even to do that." 

Hearing Harry's admission, laughter erupted from the table. No one laughed harder than Tom Paris, and the others, overjoyed at seeing their friend's reaction, laughed all the harder. 

* * * * * * 

Janeway hurried down the corridors toward her destination, Holodeck Three. When she arrived she saw that Tom Paris was already there crouched down next to the door. He was wearing a heavy woolen sweater, warm slacks, and had a red parka clutched in his hands. 

"Looks like it's your turn to be late," Tom noted, rising to his feet. 

"Sorry, but the Commander was busy talking to me about the duty roster, and then we got talking about his vision quests." 

"He still goes on those, huh?" 

Janeway smiled. "When he has the time. He's trying to get me to accompany him again," she explained, entering commands into the holodeck control panel. 

"Maybe you should take him up on the offer?" Tom suggested. 

She turned to face him, a puzzled look on her face. "Do you think so?" 

"Couldn't hurt could it?" Tom shrugged. "It's probably his way of saying that he likes your company." 

Janeway crinkled her nose as she contemplated his comment. "I'll think about it, but right now I've come to ice skate. Are you ready?" Janeway asked, seeing that Tom had put on his parka and had zipped it up. 

"Was Wayne Gretsky the Great One?" Tom quipped. 

Janeway looked up quizzically at the pilot. "What?" 

"Ah...never mind." Another twentieth century reference that only he understood. "Last one on the ice is a bankrupt Ferengi." Janeway's smile widened. 

Entering the holodeck they could feel the cool air from the ice rink wash over them. Tom fastened his jacket tighter against his neck. "I see that you do like the authentic touch--it's cold in here." 

Janeway tucked her hair into a green knit cap that she had taken out of her coat pocket. "I thought that was something you'd appreciate," she commented. Lowering herself onto a worn wooden bench she toed off her boots and reached for a pair of white figure skates that were on the floor. 

"Oh I do, but..." Tom blew hard and his warm breath resulted in a puff of white fog. "...a little bit warmer would have been nice though." He sat himself down next to the Captain and took off his own boots. 

Laughter tripped off the Janeway's tongue. "You'll warm up as soon as you get out on the ice," she assured him as she pulled the skates onto her feet and began to lace them up tightly. 

Tom did the same with his black ice skates. He was thankful that the Captain, while replicating figure skates for herself, had selected hockey skates for him. "It's been a long time since I've ice skated, Captain. It was before the Academy," he explained. "Mom used to take me and my sisters up to Lake Tahoe in the winter and we'd all ski and skate together. It was a lot of fun." He chuckled at the memory. "I remember Moira always kept falling down." 

Janeway tied the laces on the other skate and carefully stood up waiting for Tom to do the same. "Couldn't get the hang of it?" she asked. 

"No, actually Moira was a fine skater, but it was her way of attracting the attention of the skating instructor. Worked too, by the end of that particular week, she was dating him." His blue eyes twinkled with the memory. "Moira was always good at getting what she wanted," his sparkling blue eyes greyed over as he remembered how long it had been since he had last seen his family. "I sometimes wonder what she wants now." he added. 

"I would guess that she wants her brother to come home safe and sound," Janeway replied. 

Tom nodded solemnly. "Yeah." 

"Come on, Tom, you don't want to be a Ferengi do you?" she teased, trying to snap him out of the solemn mood. Tom matched her grin and pulled on his gloves. Standing up, the gentleman that he was, he held one hand out towards Janeway and guided her out towards the ice. 

"We'll go out together," he replied. "I don't feel like skating with a Ferengi today. Deal?" 

"Deal." 

Tom confidently stepped out onto the ice, and supported the Captain with one hand. She gingerly followed him, one hand firmly clutching his and the other tightly gripping the wall that encircled the rink. 

"You okay, Captain?" 

Janeway looked up at the pilot and smiled, trying to put on a brave face. "I will be, it's...ah...just been a long time since I was on the ice. I'll just stay here and try and get used to it again. You can go skate around if you'd like." 

"You sure?" 

"Please, go ahead. It'll give me a chance to get used to all this," she swept her hand down in the direction of the skates. 

"If you're sure you don't mind?" 

From the look on Paris' face, Janeway could tell he couldn't wait to try out the ice. "Please go, I'd like to see you skate." 

Tom nodded. "Who am I to argue with the Captain?" he replied. "Computer, create a hockey stick and a puck, circa late 20th century. Also create a hockey goal at the far end of the ice." 

::::Acknowledged:::: 

Tom bent down to pick up the newly created stick and with a smile glided powerfully off down the ice, paddling the black puck back and forth with the stick. 

"Well, at least he's happy," Janeway murmured to herself. Grimly she looked down at her feet; every time she tried to move her right foot, her left foot couldn't make up its mind on what direction to take. If it hadn't been for the tight grip she had on the partial wall that circled the rink, she knew she would have fallen. "This is the last time I ask Harry Kim's advice on a choice of holodeck program," she vowed. Looking out over the ice she saw that Tom was having fun. He had just slapped the puck into the goal, and he had both hands raised over his head, celebrating the momentous achievement. It was some consolation, that at least he was having a good time, she just regretted that she couldn't join him. 

As Tom turned around, he caught sight of Voyager's captain still clinging to the boards. Leaving the puck and the stick behind, he skated effortlessly towards her. 

"Having problems, Captain?" he called out. 

Janeway smiled, guilt and embarrassment tugged at her. 

Paris skated up to her. "When was the last time you were on skates?" 

She rolled her eyes upward to look into his sincere blue orbs. "Honestly?" 

"Honestly," he insisted. 

"Ah...um...well..." 

Tom crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You've never been ice skating, have you?" he stated rhetorically. 

A slight guilty smile graced her face. "Actually, no," Janeway admitted. "But it looked so easy on the vids I've been watching. I saw the skaters do flips and spins in mid-air and land safely on the ice afterwards. I figured that it couldn't be that hard to just simply skate across the ice." 

Tom unfolded his arms and held out both hands to her. "All it takes is a little practice, and someone to teach you," he replied. "How about you take your first lesson with me?" 

"You wouldn't mind teaching me? Wouldn't you rather enjoy yourself? There's a hockey puck out there," she motioned with a nod of her head towards the other end of the rink, "with your name on it." 

"Who says that I wouldn't enjoy myself helping you? Besides, it's been a long time since I taught someone. It might be fun." He smiled broadly...invitingly. "Come on, Captain, let's give it a shot. If you can defeat the Borg, then you should be able to do this blindfolded in no time." 

Janeway grabbed one of his hands trying to appear confident. "On one condition." Tom raised one eyebrow in response. "That you stop calling me Captain, and start calling me Kathryn, at least while we're together." 

Paris contemplated her request trying to look as serious as possible. "Hmmmm, Kathryn...naw...can't do it." 

"What?" She was surprised that he had refused. 

Tom gave her a devilish grin. "'Kathryn' just seems all wrong. I'll save that for Chakotay. How about I call you 'Katie'?" Kathryn sounded too intimate, to him. Katie sounded more like something you'd call a friend. 

"Katie, huh?" she paused to see what his reaction would be. He simply improved on his Tuvok impression and raised his eyebrow further. "I suppose 'Katie' would be acceptable, but only when we are alone," she warned, smiling broadly she clasped one of his hands with her own...tightly. 

"Come on, *Katie*, you can't learn to skate if you don't let go of the boards," Tom admonished. He stretched his lone hand out further towards her. Janeway pouted a bit, but finally released her grip and quickly grabbed a hold of the pilot. "Relax, this won't be as bad as you imagine. Just watch out for your toe picks." 

"Toe picks?" 

"You're wearing figure skates, they have toe picks on the blades. I have hockey skates on," he turned one foot towards her. "...no toe picks." 

"Got it...toe picks. You know, I can see myself laying flat on the ice with blood flowing from numerous head wounds," she responded drily. 

"Can't happen, the safeties are on," Tom reminded her and he moved closer, grasping the Captain's upper arms with his strong hands he slowly and confidently began to pull her away from the boards. 

"I have a *very* vivid imagination," she assured him. {In fact, I'm imagining what it would be like if you touched more than my arms.} 

Tom laughed in response and increased his speed, pulling her along after him. Janeway looked down at her skates, waiting to see the right foot and left part company. She mentally prepared herself to take a tumble. 

"Don't look at the skates," he urged. "Relax and look at me instead." 

Tearing her eyes away from her feet she looked up into the bluest eyes on Voyager and lost herself in them willingly. Suddenly, the prospect of learning how to skate seemed very appealing. 

* * * * * * * 

"Thanks, Kat...um...Captain. I had a good time." They had left the holodeck and Tom had to remember to address Janeway properly. 

"I should be the one thanking you, Tom. You taught me to skate tonight--at least a little bit. But you know you didn't have to see me back to my cabin. I do know the way," she teased. 

Tom blushed a little and looked down at the deck to avoid her gray eyes. "Was nothin', ma'am," he drawled and rubbed the toe of his boot against the deck plate. "My daddy always taught me to see a lady home." 

Janeway squeezed his forearm. It gladdened her heart to hear Tom Paris joke again, and it was damn good to feel some flesh on his bones. He seemed to be finally on the way back to recovery. "Would you like to come in for a drink?" {Please say yes. I'd love to get to know you better.} 

"I should be going, Captain, it's already past 2300 hours. I'm supposed to help Neelix out in the mess hall tomorrow." He noted the disappointment on her face. Capturing her gaze, he smiled slowly. "But I'd like to do it again sometime. Maybe invite a few more people next time?" 

"Sure." {Anything, Tom.} 

Paris nodded and turned away. 

"Goodnight," she called out softly. 

He turned his head towards her and waved, a soft smile lit his face. 

When he had left her line of sight, the Captain entered her cabin. She sighed as her door slid shut behind her. Following her usual routine, she keyed in the lock-out code for the night and ordered minimal illumination. Dropping her jacket, wool hat and gloves on the table, Janeway turned to enter the sleeping area. Passing by a small viewport, her reflection caught her attention and she stopped. Seeing that her cheeks were still flushed she pressed her palm against her face to feel the heat. {{You're blushing, Kathryn...or should I say: Katie?}} 

Janeway blushed harder. 

{{You care for him. Admit it!}} 

{He's a good friend, a member of the Voyager family.} 

{{But he's more than that. Confess!}} 

{More?} 

{{You are starting to fall in love with him, Katie. Remember I'm your conscience, you can't lie to me. By lying to me, you lie to yourself!}} 

{I...like him, just as I like any member of the crew.} 

{{Liar! You've spent a lot of time with him. Don't tell me you don't care! That you don't feel something more!}} 

Janeway's mind drifted. The weeks that she and Tom had spent together had flown, filled with platonic dates on the holodeck. She knew she'd never forget hang gliding alongside the blue-eyed man over the landscape of Bajor. She hadn't felt so exhilarated in a long time, especially when he pulled her close against his lean body so he was better able to control the landing. 

Hiking along the White Mountains in what used to be called New Hampshire, had been lovely and insightful. It provided a rigorous workout, climbing up and down the Presidential Range, and afforded beautiful views of other peaks in the distance and blue lakes below. 

Their time together also allowed Janeway to talk with him about things unrelated to ship's business. Tom, in turn, opened up to her and spoke to her about how he was trying to adjust without B'Elanna. She could tell that it hurt him to speak about his former mate, but also knew that too was part of the healing process. 

After that, his appetite improved and he began to put on more of the weight he had lost. His sunken cheeks filled out again, and Tom spent more time in the company of others. 

Janeway smiled to herself realizing how far he had come in such a relatively short period of time. 

Then her smile fell and she was suddenly back on the ice with Tom Paris. Holding him tight so she wouldn't fall, Kathryn could smell the spicy aftershave that the pilot favored. It made her senses reel, and she would have lost her balance if he hadn't spoken to her, reminding her how to move her legs. 

He was so close...so very close...lips just centimeters from her own. With a flick of her tongue she could have tasted him. Damn, how she wanted to taste him! Damn, how she regretted that she didn't. 

{I'm starting to feel something for him, that's true, but I can't let myself. It wouldn't be proper.} 

{{Proper? He's an observer again! The only *proper* relationship you can have on the ship is either with him or Neelix! It can't get any more proper out here in the Delta Quadrant!}} 

{I can't, it would be too soon. It's only been two months since B'Elanna was declared dead.} 

{{Too soon for him, or you?}} 

{He...he doesn't think of me that way. To him I'm his older sister, a friend.} 

{{Things can change...but you'll have to act.}} 

{It's too soon.} 

{{Someday it won't be too soon. Someday if you don't act, it will be too late.}} 

* * * * * * 

Chakotay was behind on the crew reviews and needed to catch up before his meeting with the captain later that day. Deciding to kill two birds with one stone, he arrived in the mess hall early, got a bowl of some type of vegetable soup from Neelix, and found a quiet table. Placing the PADD beside the soup bowl he got to work. Two sips, read a screen; three sips read a screen and a half, make some notes. He was making good progress until other members of the crew started to stream in to get their lunch. Chakotay tried to concentrate on his task, but as the noise level grew, it became more difficult. And despite trying not to pay attention to the conversation around him, Chakotay couldn't help but hear the various comments that were flying around the room. 

"How long do you think they've been seeing each other?" 

"Janeway was flushed, I think they just got through doing *it.*" "I heard that they can't keep their hands off each other. They're *always* together. You can't book holodeck time in the evening anymore without seeing their names on the log." 

"I always knew it wouldn't take Paris long before he latched onto someone else." 

The more he heard the more irate Chakotay became. He tried to focus his attention on the PADD, but it was impossible. Instead, the First Officer found that he was rereading passages that were no longer making any sense and he found himself thinking more and more about what was being said. He was thinking of the different stories that were circulating, of the people they were talking about, and most importantly, what if anything he should do about it. 

"It's a good thing B'Elanna isn't here to see this," someone noted. 

That did it--the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. He knew exactly what he had to do. 

He stormed out of the mess hall and walked powerfully and purposefully down the corridors of the ship. Turning into a vacant turbolift he barked out the deck number. Arriving at his destination, he leaned against the buzzer and waited. 

"C'mon in!" came the reply. 

The door hissed open and Chakotay entered Tom Paris' cabin. He saw Voyager's former chief pilot seated on an ancient looking couch with his stockinged feet propped up on a stool; before him on a stand was a box. At the angle Chakotay stood, he could only tell that the box that held Paris' attention emitted some type of flickering light. 

Long seconds passed before Tom finally looked up at his guest. Seeing who it was, he quickly stood up, almost tripping over the stool in the process. 

"Gee, Commander, I didn't expect to see you. I thought you might be Harry stopping by during his lunch break." 

Chakotay took a step forward. "New furnishings?" he asked. 

"Yeah, something from Earth's mid-20th century. Don't worry, it's been tested for structural integrity. Have a seat." 

"Please, have a seat," Tom motioned politely to a large arm chair that somewhat matched the sofa. "I'll just turn off the TV. I was just watching cartoons anyway." 

"TV?" Chakotay questioned lowering himself into the comfortable seat. 

Tom grinned and explained. "It's short for television--an old two-dimensional, audio-visual device used for watching entertainment. B'Elanna made this one for me." 

Chakotay leaned forward to get a closer view of the TV as the pilot searched underneath the cushions of the sofa for something. "It lacks color," the First Officer observed. 

"Well, back when TVs first produced, everything was broadcast in white images, like my Captain Proton program; but that didn't mean that they didn't produce some fine work back then. But let me turn it off so we can talk. If I could just find the remote control." 

"Can't you just turn it off at the source?" 

"That's not the point, Commander," Tom replied and continued his search for the device until, triumphantly, Tom pulled out a small gadget from under one of the cushions. 

The First Officer watched a rabbit on the television screen dance circles around a man who wore a plaid hat and carried a gun. "This is 'fine work'?" he questioned. 

Tom laughed. "Not really, but B'Elanna likes it. This is what they called a cartoon. The little guy carrying the gun is called Elmer Fudd, and the rabbit's name is Bugs Bunny. Bugs likes to give Elmer a hard time. B'Elanna..." Tom paused for a moment as he tried to reel in his emotions. "...B'Elanna says that Bugs reminds her of me. It's her favorite cartoon character." 

"It's hard to believe that B'Elanna Torres liked to watch this stuff." To the First Officer, it looked too childish for Voyager's former Chief Engineer to be interested in it. 

A wistful look washed over Tom's face. "There are a lot of things people don't know about B'Elanna. A lot of things..." He swallowed hard, his voice betraying the tears he was trying to keep at bay. "A lot of things she shares only with me." 

Chakotay noted the use of the present tense when Paris spoke of B'Elanna and questioned his visit to the pilot's cabin. He, like a fool, had believed the gossip that had circulated through the mess hall. Now, without even questioning Tom Paris, he knew that the young man could never, at least not right now and perhaps not even in the future, contemplate a relationship with anyone else. 

Taking a last look at the cartoon, Paris aimed the remote control at the television and turned it off. 

"Somehow I don't think you came down here to watch cartoons with me, Chakotay. What gives?" 

The older man looked into the other's eyes and he knew he couldn't lie to him. "To be honest, Paris, I originally came down here to chew you out, but I see now that I was wrong. Like an idiot I listened to ship gossip and believed it to be true." 

"Gossip?" 

Chakotay nodded. "Seems like you and Captain Janeway are at the center of it." 

"Me and the Captain?" Tom looked incredulous and genuinely innocent. 

"It's all over the mess hall and, without a doubt, the ship. Depending on who you listen to, you and the Captain have been having a passionate affair for weeks, or you're just friends satisfying your sexual cravings. And there are a ton of variations in between." 

"But we're just friends! She's just been trying to keep me busy, like you and Harry have been," Tom explained. 

"Unfortunately, the crew has seen something different." 

"Between holodeck activities and spending time in Astrometrics, I wouldn't have time to carry on an affair with anyone," Tom cried out, defending himself. 

"I believe you. I'm sorry I even thought something like that could happen." 

Tom shrugged. "Hey, no problem. I've been at the center of gossip before. I'm sure the gossip will die down soon enough." 

"I hope so." 

"It will," Tom reassured him. "Something will happen and before you know it they'll be off on another tangent." 

Chakotay nodded, he knew that Tom was probably right. "By the way, what have you been doing in Astrometrics?" he asked recalling Tom's reference to that area of the ship. 

Tom lifted his gaze and focused on the older man. 

One look at the pilot and Chakotay knew. "Are you still looking for her, Tom? Don't you think it's time to put this behind you?" 

He opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. Exasperated Tom rose from the sofa and crossed the room to the viewport. Chakotay watched the pilot for several minutes, noting the clench of the jaw and the shine of unshed tears coating Tom's blue eyes, before he too joined him. 

"Talk to me, Tom. Please try and think of me as a friend." 

Tom maintained his silence, his lips forming a fine line and his gaze focused on a distant constellation, Chakotay could see that he was too emotionally overcome to speak. 

The Commander patiently waited as more minutes passed, finally he placed a hand on Tom shoulder and squeezed. "Tell me about Astrometrics. How does Seven feel about you being down there so much?" He knew that to approach Tom directly would accomplish nothing. If he wanted the pilot to start to open up to him, he would have to skirt the issue. 

A small sad smile blossomed on Tom's face. "Seven?" He chuckled humorlessly. "To be honest, I think she's afraid I may try and assimilate her small collective." 

Chakotay grinned at Tom's reply. "What does she say?" 

"Nothing much. She just walks around her nose in the air, doing the best impression of Tuvok on the ship. If that ocular implant was raised any higher, we could use it for a communications antenna." 

The First Officer laughed. "I think I'd like to see that." 

"Actually, since I've been down there she's been very helpful. Seven has shown me the most *efficient* way to recalibrate the sensors to obtain 'optimum range.'" 

Chakotay had to laugh at Tom's impression of Seven of Nine. "No luck though?" 

Tom shook his head sadly. "Thought that I found something two days ago, but Seven assured me that it was nothing more than a sensor echo." 

"I'm sorry. I know how much you want to believe that she's alive." 

"For a moment, I thought I had found her." 

"Tom, it's been weeks, there's nothing..." 

Paris's determined blue eyes locked onto the brown orbs of the First Officer, daring the older man to look away. "I *know* she's alive, Chakotay. The feeling gets stronger everyday. I can't explain it, it's just," Tom lay his palm over his chest. "in here, something deep inside of me." 

"How can you know that? How can you be sure?" 

"I just know," Tom coughed back a sob, and wiped away the moisture that was threatening to spill from his eyes. Last thing he wanted was to lose it in front of the First Officer. "Look, can't we talk about something else, I'd hate to start blubbering. It'd ruin my reputation." Tom crossed behind Chakotay and moved towards the replicator. "Can I get you something to drink. Some tea?" 

"That would be nice. Herbal please." 

Tom called for an herbal tea for his guest and one for himself. 

"Why don't you tell me why, when you first came in here, you wanted to chew my ass out?" Paris suggested. 

"Paris, we really don't..." 

Tom sat back down on the sofa and blew against the surface of the hot tea before he interrupted the First Officer. "I'd really like to hear what you have to say." 

The First Officer opted for honesty. "Actually, when I came in here I didn't know what I was going to say precisely. I think I was envisioning more action than communication." 

"So when you came in here you wanted to beat me to a pulp?" 

"I...ah..." 

"You wanted to confront me about the Captain," Tom correctly surmised. "You thought that I had forgotten B'Elanna and had turned to Janeway? That I swept her off her feet and into my bed?" 

Chakotay took a long draw on his beverage before replying. "I'm sorry, Paris, I should have known better." 

"I like the Captain a lot, Chakotay. She's like an older sister. I respect her and truly appreciate all she's done, particularly lately to help me, but I couldn't have an affair with anyone-- especially not now, and maybe not ever again." He sipped at his beverage before continuing. "I also couldn't have a relationship with someone that I know a friend of mine cares so much about. I don't poach on someone else's territory." 

Chakotay who had been in the process of taking another drink, was startled by the pilot's words and nearly choked. Tom quickly arose and crossed over to the sputtering First Officer and patted him hard on the back. 

"Better?" Tom asked. 

Chakotay nodded. "Yes. Thanks," he squeaked out. 

"You seem surprised that I know that you have feelings for Janeway?" 

"Actually I didn't think anyone knew. I've tried hard to keep that private." 

"Keeping anything private on Voyager is impossible. The ship is too small and by this time, we've all gotten to know each other probably too well." 

Chakotay nodded. "That's true, but I thought I had kept this information well hidden." 

"Well you have to remember, I was brought on board initially as an observer. That's what I do best sometimes--observe." 

The older man groaned at the poor joke. "So how many others know?" 

"Honestly?" 

Chakotay nodded again. 

"Possibly only the senior bridge crew knows how much you care for her. The rest of the crew may speculate, but don't know for sure." 

"Well that's somewhat of a relief." 

Tom brought his mug up to his lips and drank, contemplating how far he could take this conversation. Finally he decided he had nothing to lose. 

Holding the mug in his left hand he scrutinized his friend. "Tell me, Chakotay, have you ever done anything about your feelings?" 

"Like what? 

"Perhaps asking the Captain for a date? 

Chakotay turned his own mug in his hands, before looking up. "We've been on a few dates." 

Tom wasn't convinced. "Dates? What did you do? And talking to furry animals on another plane of existence, doesn't count," he warned shaking his right index finger at the First Officer. 

"But she had a good time," Chakotay said defensively. 

"I'm sure she did, but I rather doubt it was romantic. What else?" he prodded. 

"Ummm, we've had dinner a couple of times in the Captain's cabin." 

Tom's interest was piqued and he leaned forward. "That's good. Were candles involved?" 

"Candles?" 

"Yes. You know long tapered waxy things." 

Chakotay nodded. 

"Excellent." Some progress was being made it seemed. "Do tell me that you at least kissed her." 

Chakotay diverted his eyes from Tom. 

"You let an opportunity like that slip by? She was almost begging for it!" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

"I thought about it, but I just couldn't. I guess with her being the captain, I was waiting for her to make the first move." 

Tom silently came to a decision as drained the tea from the mug before placing the mug on the coffee table, he moved to the other end of the couch, closer to Chakotay. 

"I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you need some help." 

"Help?" 

The younger man crossed his arms in front of him and studied his guest. "Other than those dinners with the Captain, when was the last time you were on a date?" 

Chakotay thought back. "Well there was Valerie Archer." 

"A member of Species 8472 and you were acting under orders at the time, not exactly a typical date. Strike one. What else?" 

Looking up at the pilot, Chakotay smiled fondly. "There was Kellin." 

"The only reason we know there was a Kellin was because you wrote it down. You don't really remember her. Doesn't count, sorry. Strike two." 

"You're right," he admitted. "I guess then that leaves..." 

"Seska?" Tom replied. 

Chakotay grimaced, knowing what the pilot would say. 

"Seska was using you to get what she wanted, unfortunately we can't count that either. I'm afraid if this was back on Earth and we were playing baseball, you'd have three strikes and you'd be out. But, luckily for you, this is the Delta Quadrant, and you have at your disposal one Thomas Eugene Paris, matchmaker extraordinaire, at your service." Tom smiled with pride and confidence. 

Slack-jawed, the First Officer starred at the younger man. 

"Hey, most people would jump at the opportunity I'm offering you." 

"Sorry, I guess I'm just stunned. And I'm also wondering why you'd want to do this." 

"Well I *could* say that I'm feeling generous..." 

"Or?" Chakotay prompted. 

"Or, I could say that I know that the Captain needs to have her attention diverted from yours truly. I feel that she's getting too involved with me, and while I like her a lot as a captain and a friend, I certainly couldn't have a relationship with her. My heart belongs to B'Elanna, and even if I was convinced that she's not coming back, I don't think I could see anyone else--at least not for a long time." 

Chakotay couldn't believe he was going to let Tom coach him in the romantic ways of the universe. But he had to admit after almost six years on Voyager he hadn't made much if any progress, even when he and the captain had been stranded together on New Earth. At this point, he was willing to try anything, even if it meant following Tom Paris' advice. "So what do I do?" 

Tom grinned and rubbed his hands together gleefully. This was going to be fun. "First we have do to some research into the Captain's likes and dislikes. Then we develop some ideas for a fabulous holodeck program for your date. I didn't become the dashing, debonaire specimen that you see before you today in just one night. It all takes thought, planning, and a pinch of luck." 

"You make this sound like a battle plan." Chakotay noted critically. 

Tom just smiled. "I'll meet you in two days--same time, same station--and we'll see what we come up with. That is if you aren't afraid." 

Chakotay pulled himself up to attention and steeled his gaze. "I'm not afraid of dating the Captain." 

"Good, but I'm not referring to the Captain. I'm referring to the ship's gossips. If you spend too much time in here, they might assume *we* are having an affair." 

The two men pulled an incredibly sour face each directed at the other, paused for a moment, and then laughed loudly. 

"Get out of here, Romeo, I have some serious thinking to do," Tom ordered happily, slapping the older man on the back. 

"Whatever you say, Cyrano," Chakotay replied, dimples in evidence. "I'll see you in two days." 

* * * * * * 

A dark head popped out from behind the navigation console. A combination of grease and sweat covered the face. One hand clutched an oily tool, the other pushed a lock of equally oily hair out of her face. 

"Damn it! Stay together!!!" B'Elanna Torres roared above the growl of the ship's engines. "I'll never catch up to Voyager if you don't!!!" 

As if in reply, the engine sputtered and than began to purr. 

"It's about time." 

Grabbing an already stained towel that she had tucked into her waistband, she wiped the sweat and grime from her face only to reveal an ugly scar that ran from her temple to her jaw--a testament that her time away from Voyager hadn't been an easy one. Wiping and grease from her hands, she ran her fingers through her hair trying to put it back in order, but it was useless--her hair was a matted mess. It would be a wonder if Tom even recognized her if--no when--she returned to Voyager and his arms. 

"Computer, open personal log." 

Something that sounded like a mixture of alphabet soup interspersed with profanity acknowledged her request. 

"Computer, amend personal log, Stardate... Damn, what the hell day is it? Computer, just add, a day from my last log entry... 

:::kjkndi11k3n:::: 

"Whatever," B'Elanna replied rolling her eyes in response to the computers garbled reply. "I'm still following Voyager warp core signature. I'm hoping they will have to stop soon to replenish the food stores or energy reserves so I can catch up with them. I've sent out another series of communication messages but as of yet, I've received no reply." B'Elanna stomachs growled in hunger. 

"I'd kill for any one of Neelix's specialties right now," she commented. "These Salian ration bars that were on this ship taste like salted soggy cardboard, and they smell as bad; but at least they are keeping me alive. If I can just hold out longer than they do. Just one day at a time, one more endless repair to this pile of junk, and soon I'll be home...Wait for me, Tom. 

"B'Elanna, out." 

* * * * * * * 

Tom set a steaming cup of coffee in front of Voyager's First Officer and sat down across from him. "So, what have you come up with?" 

Chakotay smiled confidently and leaned across Tom Paris' dining table. "It took some work, but I found out that she liked to go fishing with her father when she was a little girl. I thought I could develop a nice little program complete with lake, rowboat and have Neelix whip up a picnic basket. Then..." 

Paris held up one hand. "Wait right there." 

Surprised at the interruption, Chakotay looked up. "What's wrong?" 

"You're serious, aren't you?" Tom tilted his head to one side, studied the bewildered expression on the First Officer's face, and sadly shook his head. "Damn, you need more help that I originally thought." 

"I thought she'd like it -- strictly catch-and-release you know." He *was* serious. 

"I don't care if the fish jump in the boat, kiss both of you, and dive back into the water. It's not very romantic," Tom replied. 

"Oh." Chakotay looked dejected. He thought he had come up with a wonderful date. 

Tom quickly came to the rescue. "Hey, don't despair, I've also been doing some research. I think I may have come up with the ideal holodeck date." 

Chakotay looked hopefully up at Paris. "What is it?" 

Tom cleared his throat dramatically, spread his hand out before him, and shut his eyes. "Picture the 1890s, you are in Paris... France, mind you...and you and Kathryn are dressed to the nines. You're in a black suit coat with tails, carrying a long ebony walking stick, and she is wearing a large fringed hat and a full skirted velvet dress in a very lovely shade of blue..." 

"Green." 

Tom opened one eye and looked at his guest. "Green?" 

"She looks lovely in green," Chakotay explained sincerely. 

Tom shrugged. "Ok, green it is." He shut his eye again and continued. "You board an elegantly appointed train--the Orient Express--all eyes are on you. You make a very handsome couple and people whisper about the mysterious pair." 

"Mysterious?" 

One blue eye popped opened again. "Do you mind? I'm trying to develop the mood." 

"Sorry, please go ahead." 

"You make your way down the carpeted center aisle following a young uniformed porter--speaking of green--greener than when Harry came on board Voyager. He shows you to your private compartment..." 

Tom continued on with his description. He was very thorough. He described the gold and emerald green painted railway cars and the heavy mahogany doors that would slide shut and afford the two senior offices privacy in their compartment. Even the acrid smell of smoke that was emitted from the smoke stack of the train wasn't overlooked. Chakotay couldn't help but approve. He now saw why Paris was considered such a holoprogram expert as well as a ladies man, he seemed to know all the smooth moves. Chakotay had to admit that B'Elanna had been very lucky. 

"...so do you like it?" Tom asked when he was finished and opened his eyes to wait for the older man's response. 

Chakotay nodded. "Very much. Sounds like you thought of everything." 

Tom smiled. "Thanks, I'm glad you approve. But we are still missing one key ingredient." The smile faded. 

"Ingredient?" 

"Well do you know her favorite dish?" 

"Besides coffee?" 

Tom sighed in frustration. 

Chakotay brought his hand up to his chin and thought for a while. "Sorry, I guess I don't know. I should." 

"Well don't fret, she's expecting me in the holodeck tonight." 

Dropping his hand Chakotay looked up at the pilot, jealousy evident on his face. 

"Keep your tattoo polished, Commander. I won't be the only one there, Harry, Marla, and maybe even Neelix are supposed to join us. I'm sure you would have been invited too if you weren't on bridge duty tonight. We are going to the movies, Errol Flynn's 1938 classic /"The Adventures of Robin Hood"/ is playing." 

"Sounds like they are still trying to keep you busy. Are you still having problems sleeping?" 

Tom's good mood faded and he diverted his gaze from Chakotay. 

Chakotay placed a comforting hand on Paris' upper arm. "You should see the Doctor and get something to help you." 

"I thought of it, but soon rejected the idea. It seems like I'm closest to B'Elanna at night. The other night I could almost see her before me," Tom laughed humorlessly. He was sure the way he seemed to sense B'Elanna seemed ridiculous to everybody but him. "Remember when she came back to Voyager after being on the Malon freighter?" 

"I remember," Chakotay replied. He couldn't remember ever seeing B'Elanna looking so bedraggled. 

"She was covered in grease and dirt," Tom recalled, "but I thought she was beautiful...that's how she looked last night, like she was in desperate need of a sonic shower and some pampering." 

Chakotay remembered that away mission. A mission would have failed if it hadn't been for the resourceful B'Elanna Torres. 

::::Commander Chakotay to the bridge.:::: 

Chakotay grimaced at the interruption. "Sorry, looks like I've got to go." 

"No problem, we can't do much until after I talk to the Captain tonight anyway." 

"Maybe you should try and get some sleep in the meantime?" Chakotay suggested. 

"I'll try and save any sleep for tonight, right now I have to get down to Astrometrics, and then I have a holodeck program to start working on." 

"Okay, then we'll talk tomorrow?" 

"Sure. Same time..." "...same station," the First Officer finished and with a wave he was gone. 

* * * * * * * 

[Click here to go to Part 2][2]

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	2. Part 2

**Part 2**

"...four, five, six... Damn it, I thought I had a few more left! Looks like I'll have to cut back. If I have half a ration bar a day, I should be able to survive almost another two weeks," B'Elanna muttered to herself. "But as long as the warp drive can keep functioning and if Voyager stops traveling at warp, I have a chance, providing this hunk of junk stays together." 

B'Elanna turned away from the near vacant food storage bin and surveyed her surroundings. The small alien ship wasn't any bigger than one of Voyager's shuttles, it was ill kept and looked like it wouldn't be flight worthy. It belonged in the junk yard and not flying in space. It was only through her resourcefulness and ingenuity that it flew at all. Sighing she crawled up into the command chair and that had been serving as her bed and pulled an tattered blanket over her. 

Sleep crashed down on her. She deserved it, working hours upon hours on the shuttle before she allowed herself any food or rest. B'Elanna welcomed the slumber. Predictably, she dreamt of her mate. Tonight, Tom Paris appeared to be looking healthier than he had in several weeks, but this time she pictured him talking with Chakotay which was very unusual. Tom and Chakotay never sought out each other's company. 

The dream then revealed that Tom was working on something that involved an ancient form of transportation. Recalling her engineering studies, B'Elanna remembered that the item in question had been called a train. 

She was just starting to make note of the intricacies of the holoprogram Tom was designing when the ship's computer started to beep wildy. B'Elanna sprung from the chair, throwing the blankets off of her, and she reached out to the computer console. Not being able to read the display, she started performing her own check of the ship's systems. When she reached the communication's array, she knew what the problem was. The already weak emission network had finally sputtered dead. Try as she might, despite hours of labor, she couldn't get it back up and running. Dejectedly she sat back in the chair and wrapped the blanket around her body. 

"I'm coming, Tom. Watch for me. I'm coming," she murmured before she once again returned to sleep. 

* * * * * * 

Entering Holodeck One later that evening, the smell of freshly popped popcorn was the first thing Tom Paris noticed. The second thing was that instead of Harry, Marla, Neelix, and the Captain waiting for him, only Janeway was present. She was dressed casually in a loose V-necked blouse that hinted at her cleavage and a long soft forest green skirt that hung midway between her knees and ankles. Chakotay had been right, she did look good in green. 

"Where are the others?" Tom asked. He knew that he was at least five minutes late for the movie and they should be there, yet somehow he also knew that they wouldn't be showing up. 

"I don't think they can make it," Janeway told him casually, taking a good look at Paris. He was wearing a pair of black slacks that soft blue shirt of his that she loved which enhanced the color of his eyes. "Harry had to work tonight to cover for Mitchell, and Marla and Neelix were drafted to assist in Security. Seems like there was a serious mixup in the shift schedules," Janeway explained. Nonchalantly, she tucked a lock of her auburn hair behind her left ear. Taking the shift schedules off Chakotay's hands this morning had been a good idea, she concluded. She didn't feel like any excess company tonight. 

He also made note of that predatory gleam that lit Janeway's eyes, a look that he had seen before, but usually on one of the Delaney twins when they were on the prowl. Knowing that he obviously had been set up, Tom played it cool. 

Janeway approached him, a slight smile on her face. As she neared, Tom could smell her fragrance; a delicate natural sandalwood, that was anything but innocent. "The show's about to start, would you like to get some popcorn?" Janeway asked motioning to the refreshment stand. 

"Of course, can't go to a movie without something to eat," Tom moved over toward the stand and ordered an extra large bucket of popcorn, a jumbo size root beer, and a box of jujubes from the holographic attendant. "Can I get you anything, Cap..." 

She gave him the famous Janeway evil eye. 

"...ah, Katie?" he quickly corrected himself. 

"No, thank you. Are you going to eat *all* that stuff?" she asked incredulously. She didn't feel like competing tonight with snack food to gain his attention. 

"Well I missed supper," he explained, a half fib. He had eaten a light meal in is quarters. "Sure I can't get you anything?" 

"I'm sure." {All I need is you.} "Let's just go in and see the movie. I understand this is a classic." 

Tom nodded and Kathryn Janeway led the way through the heavy wooden doors that separated the lobby from the theater. Gripping Tom by the upper arm, Janeway steered him through the aisles to a pair of seats toward the darkest part of the theater--all the way in the back. 

"Sure you don't want to sit closer to the screen?" Tom asked pulling away from her grip slightly. 

Kathryn tightened her hold. "No, actually, this looks very comfortable," she insisted and pulled him along until they were finally at their destination. 

Sitting in the "make-out" area wasn't a good idea, he thought. Placing the popcorn on the floor, Tom pulled the seat down behind him and sat down while Kathryn did the same. After they were both seated comfortably side by side, he reached down and picked up the popcorn, offered her some which she refused, and began nibbling on it. 

They settled in to watch the movie. The lights dimmed in the theater and soon the introduction came on the screen explaining about Richard the Lion-Heart and the situation England faced at the time, followed by the movie itself. 

Keeping the popcorn in between them provided enough of a barrier to keep Janeway from becoming too close--and it seemed to work-- for awhile. Tom made it through the plotting and scheming of the Sherif of Nottingham and King John. He and Janeway watched the Robin Hood meet and become friends with Will Scarlet, challenge Little John, and force Friar Tuck to carry the archer across the stream. All the while he didn't notice that Janeway had started to help herself to the popcorn, his defense mechanism was becoming weaker all the time. 

Then the scene he had been waiting for came on the screen--Maid Marian and her party had just been taken captive by Robin Hood and his Merry Men, and the famous feast in the forest had begun. Seeing the variety of foods being prepared for the meal, Tom leaned toward the Captain and whispered in her ear. 

"That looks like a roast boar," Tom commented seeing a large pig- like animal on a spit being turned over an open fire. 

"I like pork, but I don't think I could eat that. It seems so crude," Janeway admitted scrunching her nose reflecting her distaste. 

"Not your favorite?" Tom asked trying to draw out some information that he and Chakotay could use. 

Janeway tilted her head nearer Paris. "No, I actually prefer Italian," she admitted. 

"I bet you went to Giovanni's when you were at the Academy," Tom concluded. 

She grinned. "How did you guess?" 

"Well, Gio did have the best Italian food. I, in particular, loved his shrimp scampi served over linguini." 

"Mmmmm, that was good, but I always favored that special he served on Tuesdays. Maybe you remember, he used the bow-tie pasta and served it with a light garlic sauce with grilled vegetables." 

Inside Tom smiled. He had the information he needed for Chakotay, now he just had to make it through the rest of the movie. 

Turning back to the movie, Janeway sighed when she saw Robin Hood and Maid Marian together. He was the dashing nobleman turned to living among thieves and she was the proud aristocratic lady. In some ways she thought of how it mirrored her and Tom's situation at one time when he first came on board. 

Sitting down for dinner together, the movie pair started to trade barbs but quickly became more amiable towards each other. Robin Hood seemed to intrigue Maid Marian; much like a certain former Chief Pilot intrigued the Captain. 

/*/"Are you really interested in learning why I turned outlaw? Or are you afraid of the truth, or of me perhaps?" Robin asked Maid Marian with a devil-may-care smile on his face./*/ 

/*/Defiantly, Maid Marian replied. "I am afraid of nothing, least of all you!"/*/ 

"I think she should be afraid," Tom commented, taking advantage of the opportunity. "She knows almost nothing about him, other than he was a nobleman turned thief." 

Janeway tilted her head to the side and looked up at her companion. "Don't you believe in love at first sight?" 

Tom thought for a moment, and then spoke, carefully selecting his words. "Sometimes I do, but I have found that it's a rarity. Mostly I think people mistake love at first sight for lust at first sight, particularly if they are lonely. After they get to know the person, they find that their original impression doesn't usually come up to par." Tom hoped she'd take the hint. 

"But sometimes you just know," Janeway countered and leaned closer, her lips almost touching Paris' ear. "Sometimes your heart doesn't lie," she whispered huskily. Tom could feel her warm breath against his skin. "Sometimes you have to act." 

He turned toward her and she leaned forward. Their lips pressed together. Kathryn felt white hot passion and parted her lips to allow him access. Tom though felt only warmth and embarrassment and promptly pulled away. 

Not deterred, Janeway leaned in even closer. He stopped her by quickly grabbing a hold of her upper arms with both of his hands and pushed her back. "Captain!" Tom gasped. "I'm sorry, I just can't. Computer," he called out, "stop movie, and increase illumination 20 percent." 

::::Acknowledged:::: 

The film on movie screen froze and the overhead lights lit the theater in a soft glow. Tom could see the droop of Janeway's lip and the blush on her cheek, and he knew how disappointed and embarrassed she was that he hadn't returned her advances. 

Embarrassed, she pulled back. "Tom, I'm...I'm sorry. I feel so...so ashamed." 

"No, I'm the one that's sorry. I knew that you were feeling something, but I convinced myself that it would pass. I should have talked to you about it." 

"It's my fault," she replied. "I don't know why exactly I went after you. You are damn good looking, and fun to be around, but you are nothing like Mark." 

"Perhaps you were lonely?" Tom questioned tenderly. "We've been out here a long time, Katie. Following Starfleet regulations, you're choices have been very limited as to who you could get involved with." 

She smiled slightly. "I've always been a stickler for the regulations." 

"You shouldn't deprive yourself. Even you deserve to be happy." 

Janeway sighed. "Just not with you, huh?" 

"I'm flattered, really I am. But my heart belongs to B'Elanna. We were joined, both physically and in here," Tom tapped his chest above his heart. 

"It's too soon for us." 

"It may always be too soon, not only for us, but for anyone else. I just can't see myself with anyone but B'Elanna. I really hope you can understand." 

She nodded and a gentle smile lit her face. "B'Elanna was a lucky woman, Tom..." 

"No I'm the lucky one to have found her," he corrected. 

Janeway placed her palm against Tom's cheek in comfort, but he didn't waiver in his gaze. 

::::Captain, alien vessels are approaching Voyager.:::: 

Despite the situation, Tuvok's voice remained as calm and cool as always. 

Janeway sighed and removed her hand from Paris' face. "On my way, Commander. Call Commander Chakotay to join me on the bridge." 

::::Aye, Captain.:::: 

* * * * * * * 

"Not going on shore leave, Paris?" Chakotay asked poking his dark head into Astrometrics only to find Tom poring over readouts and star charts. By good fortune, the aliens they had encountered turned out to be very friendly and hospitable, thus affording Voyager a chance to replenish its stores and allowing the crew to enjoy some well-deserved shore leave. 

Tom looked up at the Commander and smiled. "No, you go ahead. I have something I want to check out here, while Seven is gone." 

"While she's gone?" 

"Yeah, Harry convinced her to go with him to the planet, so I'm taking advantage of it. She tends to hover when she's in here with me. Seems to think I can't manage on my own. Like this," Tom tapped at the blip on the screen in front of him. "She'd tell me this was nothing but a sensor echo or a spatial anomaly and dash all my hopes." 

Chakotay inhaled slowly, held it for a moment to try and remain, and then released his breath and his thought. "Perhaps, she'd just be telling you the truth?" 

"Perhaps, but something about this..." Tom swung his arms wide. "...feels different than before. I just can't explain it. There is nothing on any of the computers, that can back up that feeling, but it's here." He struck the middle of his chest with a clenched fist. "Call it intuition, desperation..I don't know, but it's strong!" 

"Is there anything I can do? Do you need any help?" Chakotay couldn't believe that he was asking Tom if he needed any assistance. Was he starting to believe as well that B'Elanna might have survived? 

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I have it pretty well under control. The computer is extrapolating information, and probably won't be done for sometime. In fact, now would be a good time to finish the holodeck program." 

"Are you sure." 

"You bet." 

* * * * * * 

With a tap of his finger, Tom terminated the holodeck program. For the time being Chakotay's program, or as Tom referred to it "Cyrano de Bergerac meets the Tattooed Terror" was complete. The program was ready to be used for the first time, and in the future Chakotay would be able to alter and augment. 

"Remember, Chakotay, if the Captain asks, you did the programming." 

"But that would be a lie, you did most of the work." 

"I'll deny it if I'm ever asked. I'll just say that you asked me a few questions, but you did all the programming yourself." 

"I don't know, Paris, it is very dishonest." 

"What she doesn't know, won't hurt her. Besides, I thought you wanted to take her out on a special date? But perhaps I was wrong, I could always upload this program into the public access area, and anybody on the ship could use it." 

"Don't you dare!" 

Tom grinned. "Have fun, and remember everything I told you." 

Chakotay nodded. "Thanks, Cyrano, I think I owe you." 

"Please, not again. Just chalk this up to me being a romantic at heart. Okay?" 

Chakotay smiled. "Thanks." 

* * * * * * 

Turning down the corridor to her cabin, a tired Janeway having spent most of the day on the planet in diplomatic discussions walked to her quarters and keyed open the door. As soon as she entered her cabin and the door swished shut behind her, she began to remove the stifling Starfleet dress uniform. Her fingers stilled on the neck fasteners when she noted that she had a message on her communications system. Accessing the message she was surprised to see that it contained an invitation to participate in a program on the holodeck. It even stated that the appropriate attired would be provided upon entry into Holodeck Two, but the message itself was unsigned. 

"Tom, you didn't have to," Janeway murmured thinking that this was the pilot's way of saying that he was sorry he had rejected her advances. Quickly, she left her cabin, buoyed with renewed vigor and enthusiasm. Her steps quickened as she made her way to the holodecks. 

When she arrived, she entered the Holodeck to find that a luxurious velvet green dress had been laid out on a high-backed chair in a candle-lit entry way behind the main holodeck doors. 

Accompanying it on a mahogany side table was a pair of black heeled shoes and a matching black beaded handbag, as well as a pair of onyx and silver combs that sparkled in the candlelight. Removing her dress uniform, she pulled on the shoes using the accompanying buttonhook to fasten them, and dropped the full- skirted dress over her head. 

The detail on the dress was exceptional, with a contrasting tan- colored braid that adorned the skirt and the high-necked ruffled bodice. Next she pulled her hair back on each side with the help of the combs, and was about to leave the room when she saw that under the dress hung a silver necklace that had a black onyx pendant attached to it that matched the design on the combs. Fastening the necklace around her neck, she found that it easily reached her waist. 

Tom certainly had good taste she concluded. She was anxious to discover what lay behind the other door in this changing area. Inspecting her dress in the large mirror that was hung on one of the walls, Janeway smoothed the skirt and adjusted her hair combs one more time before the moved towards the door. There she found on a shelf beside the door a pair of soft black kid-leather gloves and leaning up against the wall next to the door was a green parasol that matched her dress. She tugged on the gloves, finding that they fit like a second skin; and grabbing the parasol she opened the door and stepped into the holodeck program that was already running. 

The sun was shining brightly, and the temperature suggested that the time of year must be mid-spring. Following the example of the holodeck characters that she noticed, she opened the parasol and placed it against her shoulder to protect herself from the sun's rays. Turning around to observe her surroundings, Kathryn Janeway found that she was in a city, with a number of large brick buildings and towering above them silhouetted against the morning sunshine was none other than the Eiffel Tower. 

{How appropriate, in Paris with Paris.} 

"Kathryn!" 

Surprised, Janeway realized that if wasn't Tom who called her name, it was her First Officer. Pivoting on her heel toward the sound of the well known voice, she saw the ex-Maquis leader approaching her. He was dressed in a dashing black suit offset by a stark white shirt and a gray and white stripped tie, and he was carrying a black shiny silver-tipped walking stick. 

"Chakotay?" 

"Well, what do you think?" he flung his arms wide. 

"It's impressive. Did you do all this yourself?" 

"Don't you like it? I think you look wonderful in green," he sidestepped her question, pointing to the dress. 

Janeway smiled and smoothed out the skirt with one gloved hand. "It's wonderful. I love the color. The weather is beautiful, the flowers are in bloom, and everything looks very authentic." 

"I'm glad you like it." Chakotay joined her and guiding her with a hand on her elbow down a small, but quaint side street. "I hope you don't mind that I didn't create a hat for you, but when I saw the pictures of the hair combs in the database, I couldn't imagine covering them up with one of those large hats they wore back then--besides I like your hair." 

Kathryn reached up and touched one of the combs and smiled at her First Officer fondly. "I think you made the right choice. I was never much for wearing hats, and I love the combs." 

"They're yours, a gift from me to you." 

"The occasion?" 

Chakotay grinned and his dimples deepened. "The occasion? Well let's see, is it your birthday?" 

"No. Not for another two months." 

"Hmmmm, anniversary of some type?" 

"Not that I know of." 

"Then, I guess you'll just have to consider it a gift of friendship and aff...affection." 

"You shouldn't have, they must have cost you a week's worth of replicator rations." 

"Actually, three, but they are worth it, Kathryn, if they make you happy. Please keep them." 

Janeway smiled softly. "All right. You convinced me, but where are we going?" The smell of fine French roast coffee permeated the air and it made the Captain yearn for a cup. "These little French cafe's look delightful, and the smell of the coffee is..." She breathed in deeply. "....divine." 

Chakotay hurried her along past the cafes. "We'll be late if we don't hurry." 

"Late? Where are you taking me?" she asked as she tried to keep up with his long legs. 

"Don't you trust me?" 

"Of course, it's just that..." 

"You're in the holodeck, Kathryn. Forget that you are the captain for once, and let me worry about all the who, whats, wheres, and whys." 

He was beginning to intrigue her. Was this the same man who had sat beside her on the bridge for the last six years? "It's forgotten." 

"Really?" 

"Well...um...I'm willing to at least give it a try." 

Turning a corner down another street that was lined with shops and flowers, they hurried towards their destination. 

"Good, we haven't missed it," Chakotay remarked. 

"Missed it?" 

A loud whistle blew and the unmistakable chug-chug of an approaching train could be heard. 

"The train, Kathryn--the famous historic Orient Express." 

She would have stopped dead in her tacks, if it hadn't been that Chakotay was pulling her along. Chakotay escorted a spellbound Kathryn Janeway onto the train, and true to Tom Paris' original description, many of the other passengers waiting to board whispered about them, speculating about who they were and where they were going. 

* * * * * 

Dressed in his blue robe, Tom was in his bathroom sonic brushing his teeth. He was about to turn in for the night when the door chime to his quarters sounded twice. 

"Hold your warp core, I'm coming!" Paris called out. Padding over to the door he keyed it open, only to find Chakotay standing anxiously on the other side. 

"You got a minute?" 

"Sure," Tom waved him inside. "Come on in." 

Chakotay quickly stepped inside and the door hissed closed. 

"How'd it go, Romeo?" Tom asked and motioned for the First Officer to have a seat. 

Chakotay lowered himself into the sofa, a grin plastered on his tanned face. "I think it went very well." 

"I can see that, if I'm not mistaken, that's the Captain's favorite shade as of late." 

Chakotay looked quizzically at the pilot, not understanding the remark. 

With a flick of a finger Tom touched his own cheek. The older man then realized to what the pilot was referring to, and rubbed at the faint mark that still remained of Kathryn Janeway's lipstick. 

Tom sat down on the chair and leaned back, quite proud of the apparent success of his program. This matchmaking stuff was pretty easy if you knew what you were doing, he thought. "Looks like our program worked out fine," he remarked. 

"It was better than fine, Tom. She had a fabulous time. Kathryn told me that she adores Earth's late 19th century. She also told me," dimples in evidence, "that she always thought there was something romantic about train travel." 

"Excellent. Some things work out even better than you can imagine. So give me some details....at least the ones you can share." 

Chakotay chuckled. "She loved her dress and the hair combs. I told you green was the right color to chose." 

Tom grinned. "That you did, but I don't remember you inserting any hair combs into the program." 

"They were a gift from me to her...and she loved them." 

Tom reached over the punched the First Officer in the shoulder good humoredly. "You don't need any help from me, you're doing just fine on your own! That was a nice touch." 

"Thanks but she was a little upset that I wouldn't let her stop and go into one of those Parisian cafes. She soon forgave me though when she saw the train." 

"So, you did like I suggested and led her right past the cafes?" 

Chakotay nodded. 

"They may deny it, but most women like a man to take charge at least some of the time." 

"I wouldn't have believed Kathryn would have felt that way, but she proved me wrong. 

Tom leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "So did she like the meal?" 

"She loved it." Chakotay grinned broadly. "She savored every bite." 

"And afterwards, she kissed you?" Tom prompted. 

"No, not yet." 

The smile on Tom's face fell a little. 

"Afterwards, she sat next to me while the train wove its way through the French countryside. The steady thrum and movement of the train relaxed her and she rested her head against my shoulder while she dozed." Chakotay tapped his right shoulder. "It was wonderful. Kathryn seemed very comfortable with me." 

"I'm happy for you," Tom said but he was getting frustrated. "So when did she kiss you?" 

"Haven't I told you yet?" 

"No!" 

Chakotay smiled, he liked to see Paris get anxious for a change; usually the pilot played it so cool and confident. 

"Well I'm coming to it. Our holodeck time was coming to an end. As we disembarked from the train she leaned over to me, thanked me, and kissed me on," he motioned to his face. "...my cheek." 

"And?" Tom stared at the First Officer his mouth agape. 

"And, that's it, I didn't expect much more on the first date. My grandfather always told me if it was meant to be it will happen." 

"Sounds like he was a wise man," Tom noted. "So are you going to ask her out for real this time?" 

"I'm already ahead of you, I made a date for next week. Kathryn asked when we could use the program again. She even suggested that we work on a scenario together for the 'Romance on the Orient Express' program during the week." 

"Nice name. Your idea?" 

Chakotay grinned. "No, hers, and next time she wants to add some mystery and a maybe spy or two." 

"Sounds perfect," Tom beamed. "Looks like already I've outlived my usefulness." 

"Are you telling me if I have any questions or need to discuss an idea or two, you won't hear me out?" 

"Not at all, my door is always open," Tom generously replied. 

"Thanks, Paris." 

"No problem. I hope it works out for you two." 

Chakotay extended his hand and Tom took it in his own and shook it. "Me too, and if it does, we'll have you to thank." 

* * * * * * 

With the last of her emergency rations eaten, B'Elanna couldn't keep her eyes open any longer and crawled up in the ship's command chair so she could nap. It was austere looking, with its heavy use of synthetic leather and metal trim, but it provided the most comfortable sleeping accommodations on the small ship. Extending a tired arm she made a final check of the ship's sensors 

B'Elanna looked at the ship's sensor readout. It was faint, but definitely there. Weak as she was from lack of food and sleep, she was overjoyed--she had finally caught up with Voyager; there was no mistaking a Federation warp signature in this corner of space. With the last of her strength waning, she activated and locked the autopilot onto Voyager and collapsed, not noticing that another vessel was approaching hers. 

* * * * * * 

Wide-eyed, Tom Paris bolted upright from his bed. The image had been so clear, so distinct this time. She was ill and she needed him. In his mind, he could still see his B'Elanna as she lay curled up in a ball in what appeared to be either a large chair or some type of bench. Throwing the covers off his body, the pilot pulled on the pair of rumpled tan-colored slacks he had worn the day before, and flew out of his cabin en route to the bridge. 

His journey did not go unnoticed. It wasn't everyday that a bare-chested Tom Paris ran through the corridors of the ship. If the female complement of the ship had their way though, it wouldn't be the last. 

* * * * * * 

The turbolift doors were barely open when Tom sprung onto the bridge. Due to his half-dressed state, he elicited a lot of curious looks. 

"Captain!" Tom called out. 

Janeway, still seated in her command chair, and oblivious to what the other bridge crew were gawking at, turned at Tom's urgent voice. She stared at her former chief pilot, not knowing immediately how to respond. 

Tom approached the railing that ran along behind the command center, and gripping it tightly he leaned over towards Janeway. "Captain, we have to go back!" he continued. 

Janeway rose to face him, Chakotay followed suit. "Mr. Paris, explain yourself. What are you doing on my bridge dressed in such a state, and what do you mean 'go back'?!" 

Tom looked down, only then realizing that he hadn't bothered to pull on a shirt before he had left his cabin. He pushed aside any momentary embarrassment and addressed Janeway. "That doesn't matter, Captain. But we have to go back, B'Elanna, may be dying." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I...I had a...er...dr..dream, Captain. B'Elanna was on a ship and she was very ill. I've dreamt of her before, but this time the feeling was so much more intense." Tom facial expression implored wordlessly that she believe him. 

"Tom, I explained to you, that B'Elanna is..." 

"I know what you explained to me, but you're wrong--everyone is wrong. She's alive, or at least she is right now, but she may not be for long if we don't hurry," The desperation that he was experiencing was plainly evident with the way his blue eyes sought out her understanding. 

"Tom," she began, reverting to his first name, "we cannot..." 

"All I ask is to have, Tuvok..." Tom turned around to look at the stoic Vulcan, "...adjust his instruments to scan for the presence of Tyberian ore and scan for a small ship that is approaching us from an approximate heading of 5407.2." 

"Tyberian ore?" Janeway questioned. 

"It's a predominate mineral in this section of space, that I believe is used to construct spaceships in this sector. Please, Captain!" 

Janeway looked over to Tuvok and nodded slightly. "And if we don't find anything, you'll report to sickbay. You've been under a lot of stress and I think it's time the Doctor..." 

Tuvok who had quickly adjusted his sensors to the specifications Paris had suggested looked up from his panel. "There is a ship matching our course, Captain...and there also appears to be another ship--a larger ship--rapidly closing on the smaller ship's location." 

Tom slapped his hands in triumph against the metal rail. "It's B'Elanna!" he called out. 

"I cannot confirm or deny the presence of anyone on either vessel, Mr. Paris," Tuvok noted. 

Harry from his station looked up apprehensively, waiting for the command to hail either ship. 

"One thing at a time, Mr. Paris," Janeway cautioned. "Mr. Kim hail the lead vessel." 

"Aye, Captain." Harry made the necessary adjustments, and tense silent seconds passed before he finally looked up toward Janeway. "I'm receiving no reply, Captain. It could be due to that Tyberian ore that the ship is constructed with. I know in the Alpha Quadrant, that some members of the Federation have tried using Tyberian ore but the Federation discovered that it wasn't compatible with the transporter or communication frequencies." 

Janeway pondered the information for a moment. Was it worth it to reverse their course with only Tom Paris' feelings as a basis for investigation? 

"Can you raise the larger ship, Mr. Kim?" Janeway asked, though her gaze remained locked on Tom Paris. 

"No, ma'am. No reply." 

Tom eagerly leaped over the rail and stood face to face with the Captain. "Let me take the Delta Flyer and investigate, Captain. Please. Voyager isn't functioning at peak efficiency and is unable to achieve optimum warp..but the Flyer can. I can dock with the ship and be back before the larger ship can catch up." 

Janeway looked over her shoulder to her First Officer. Chakotay merely nodded. 

"Very well, Mr. Paris. You can go, but I'm warning you, make it quick," Janeway relented. 

"Yes, ma'am." He looked over her head and to Harry Kim. 

Harry didn't have to be prompted twice. "Captain, permission to accompany Mr. Paris?" 

The Captain turned and faced her ops officer. Having Harry go with Tom would be good insurance. "Very well, but be careful...both of you." 

* * * * * * * 

"You sure you want to come with me?" Tom asked, now dressed in more appropriate civilian attire. 

From his station on the Delta Flyer Harry adjusted this control panel. "I didn't think I had any choice," he quipped. Even Robin Hood had his Merry Men. Just think of me as Little John." 

"Little John?" Tom never envisioned that Harry held any resemblance to that large man of yore. 

"Will Scarlett?" Harry tried. 

"Better, at least we knew he was musical," Tom laughed and continued to prep the Delta Flyer for the mission. "Systems all set to go, you ready?" 

Harry flipped a couple of switches and adjusted a knob. "All set, Tom." 

* * * * * * * 

"Delta Flyer will dock with the vessel in twenty minutes, Captain." 

"Very good, Mr. Tuvok, continue to monitor them." 

This heroic action Tom was taking reminded Janeway of the film she had recently seen with the pilot. She could imagine him as Robin Hood, sweeping in to save a damsel in distress. And while she could respect Tom's daring, somehow it didn't dazzle her the way it might have in the recent past. She had found that her First Officer possessed depths that intrigued her more, and she was anxious to examine them further. 

"Captain, the larger vessel is hailing us." 

Janeway turned to the tall redhead that was manning Harry's station. "I thought we couldn't establish communications due to the Tyberian ore?" 

"It seems that the aliens have the ability to decide how and when they make contact, Captain." 

"They may have some type of dampening field that they can activate at will, Captain," Tuvok explained. 

Janeway nodded and turned toward the view screen sitting tall in her command chair. "Very well, Tuvok, put them through." 

The view screen came to life and a clearly irate alien was displayed. He was extremely pale of face, to a point where he looked like a mime. His facial features resembled a human, except for an extra triple fold of skin that encircled his head from just above his black eyes. It looked like his halo had slipped. 

::::My name is Commander Xytah of the Salian merchant fleet. I demand to know why you have sent a ship to intercept one of our shuttles:::: 

"I'm glad to make your acquaintance, Commander," Janeway remarked cooly. "My name is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. The small ship you see approaching your vessel is merely trying to ascertain if there is anyone on board that requires medical assistance," she reassured him. No point in letting him know that Voyager was unable to detect any life signs at all on the scout ship. 

::::There is no need, Captain, we were just coming to provide the necessary assistance. You see the person on board that ship, confiscated the vessel illegally. We are here to return our property, and to return that person to her owner.:::: 

{Her? Is it possible Tom was correct? B'Elanna would be very capable of stealing a vessel and fleeing the aliens.} 

"To her *owner*, Commander?" Chakotay remarked. 

::::Alas she was not born with the markings of the upper caste,:::: He touched his circle of folds. ::::According to our custom, even though I know it sounds barbaric to outworlders, she is part of one of the lower castes, and her role in our society is that of a servant:::: 

Janeway glanced down to computer readout that was situated between herself and Chakotay. She had to stall him for another five minutes before the Delta Flyer could dock with the other ship so Tom would have enough time to return to Voyager safely. 

"Our ship can reach the vessel much quicker than yours can. Surely you don't begrudge our assistance?" Janeway asked. 

::::I assure you it isn't necessary.:::: 

"My dear Commander, I believe it is." 

* * * * * * 

"They are hailing us again, Tom," Harry called out, having received a hail from the large alien vessel. 

"Ignore them, let Voyager handle any communication. We have other things to do." 

"Right." 

"We are almost in position, are you ready?" 

Harry came forward to help Tom with the docking mechanism. 

"I'm preparing to dock, be ready to activate the docking clamp." 

"I'm on it." 

With a soft thud the Delta Flyer connected to the smaller ship. 

"Since we've docked, I am now able to scan the ship, Tom. The atmosphere inside is breathable, and..." He looked up to his friend who was already preparing himself to leave the Flyer. "There is one life sign...a female Human-Klingon hybrid. Her life signs are weak." 

* * * * * * 

Tom pushed against the access hatch of the alien ship, his heart was beating madly at the prospect of seeing and holding his love in his arms once again. He put all his weight against the rusty hatch before it finally moved. With a terrible creaking sound, the hatch opened. Cautiously he stepped inside, his weapon drawn prepared for the unknown. 

"B'Elanna!?" he called out, but received no reply. 

The interior of the ship, he discovered, looked even worse for wear that the ship's outer hull. Wires hung from the ceiling, in what looked like a make-shift repair...something that B'Elanna specialized in during times of emergency. Stepping around ductwork that had fallen from the overhead and detouring around a spaghetti pile of cable, Tom worked his way forward. 

Continuing to call her name, Tom quickened his pace. Reaching the ship's small bridge, Paris noticed the large command chair that was placed in the center of the area...and one small hand that hung over the edge...a hand that he'd know anywhere. 

{Please, God, let me get to her in time. Don't let her be...} 

He circled the chair and saw the same B'Elanna Torres that he had been seeing in his dreams. She was dirty and frail, but he thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen..... Gently, he pulled the limp form of his lover into his arms. 

"B'Elanna," he whispered brushing her dark hair away from her face, "it's Tom." Seeing the ugly scar along her cheek he grimaced at what might have inflicted such damage to her. "B'Elanna, it's me. Can you hear me?" 

A lip moved slightly and an eye fluttered. "Tom?" a small voice answered back. B'Elanna's eyes parted slightly, and upon seeing her mate she softly smiled and drifted off back to sleep or unconsciousness. Tom wasn't sure. 

:::Tom, we have to hurry, the larger ship is closing in.:::: 

"I found her, Harry. We're coming." 

A broad grin spread across Harry's face as he waited anxiously in the Flyer for his friends return. 

Hearing the sound of Tom's footsteps get closer, Harry moved to the docking portal. 

"Give me a hand, Harry!" Tom called out from the other side of the docking area. "I'm going to pass her through the opening, then I want you to place her on the emergency biobed. Before we head back to Voyager, I want to examine B'Elanna and stabilize her condition." 

"I'm ready, Tom. Just pass her through to me," Harry replied, holding our his arms he accepted the gift that Tom entrusted to him. He was relieved to finally see his long time missing friend...a friend that he thought had been dead. Only Tom had believed that she was still alive. He marveled at how light she was, and then was almost sickened when he realized that it was due to the ill-treatment and amount of weight she had lost since she had left Voyager. Gently, Harry took her to the back of the ship and placed her on the emergency biobed. 

Tom pulled his long frame through the opening, and he observed that Harry had already placed B'Elanna on the biobed that was located in the aft section of the ship. The pilot quickly joined them and helped Harry strap B'Elanna safely to the bed. 

"She looks bad," Harry noted. 

Tom palmed B'Elanna's dark hair away from her face before he reached for the medical tricorder. On Voyager she had taken great care of her tresses, even though perhaps only he knew what great pains she took to keep her hair shiny and manageable. Being a private person, it wasn't information that she would have circulated through the ship. She had never even told him, but he knew, that she considered her richly colored mane to be her one beauty. She always short-changed herself, Tom thought, when it came to her appearance. 

"She looks beautiful to me, Harry," Tom remarked and began scanning his patient. "Two broken ribs--improperly set if they were set at all--one cracked jaw, signs of malnutrition...," Tom reeled out a long list of assorted injuries and bruises. "Doesn't look like she's had a decent meal in a long time...let alone a shower or bath. If it wasn't for the fact that she's half-Klingon, I don't think she could have survived." 

"But she made it," Harry stated. Paris selected two hyposprays-- one filled with a nutritional supplement and the other containing a combination pain killer and antibiotic. 

"Yes, she survived, but at what cost?" Tom asked. 

Harry looked up and noted the mixture of love, relief, and pain that was expressed on Tom's fair face. "You know you can rely on me if either of you need anything," Harry offered. 

{You standing by us, is something I'd never question.} 

Nodding, Tom returned the hypospray to the medkit. Turning back to B'Elanna he double-checked the biobed restraints and bending over her, he placed a kiss on lips that he thought he'd never feel again. The last time he had tasted their sweetness though they weren't chapped and cracked--but the best part of all was that they were warm. She was alive, and he was determined that she'd stay alive. We'll bring you back to health, he promised silently, before he lifted his head to look at his friend. 

"Let's get going, Harry. The sooner we are within transporter range, the sooner B'Elanna..." 

::::Alien vessel approaching on a course of 253. Interception will occur in twelve point three minutes:::: 

The pair didn't need to be prompted twice and dashed to their respective stations. Tom quickly prepped the Flyer for takeoff and Harry released the docking clamp. 

"Ready whenever you are," Harry rang out. "I've sent a transmission to Voyager instructing them to transport B'Elanna as soon as we are within range." 

"Excellent! Let's rock and roll!" 

Harry activated the Flyer's forcefield and Tom powered up the swift ship and began heading back to Voyager. 

"How long until Voyager can beam her aboard?" Tom asked. 

"Present rate of speed--approximately fifteen minutes." 

"Transmission coming in from the alien ship," Harry called out. 

"Put 'em through," Paris barked. 

::::Voyager ship, we demand that you return our property immediately.:::: The voice sounded deep and menacing. 

"Property?" Tom questioned. 

::::The woman that you removed from the ship, she belongs to us. We insist that you relinquish her.:::: 

"The woman in question happens to be a member of my ship's crew," Tom spat, "and my mate." 

::::The captain of this vessel legally purchased her at the slave market on Oblig. She belongs to him.:::: 

"B'Elanna Torres could belong to no one. Your Captain may have thought that he owned her, but he was gravely mistaken. B'Elanna has returned home to her ship and to me, and I'll be damned if I'll give her back to you!" Tom roared. Harry hearing the barely contained rage in Tom's voice, was very glad that he was not the recipient of his friend's ire. 

::::You will give her back or face the consequences!:::: The alien's voice sounded strained and on the verge of erupting in uncontrolled anger. 

"And you and your ship can go straight to hell!" Tom snapped. 

::::You have been warned.:::: 

"They've terminated communications," Harry commented. "They've also reinforced their shields and powered weapons." 

"Looks like we are in for a fight," Tom concluded. "Can you raise Voyager?" 

"Not yet--still too much interference--but I'll keep trying." 

"Can the Flyer's forcefield keep our guests at bay?" 

"Hard to tell--but I doubt the shields will hold long enough for us to reach transporter range, and Voyager can't transport with the shields up." 

Tom flipped a series of switches and adjusted a few knobs. "I guess we'll just have to distract them." 

"Do you have a plan?" 

"I'm working on it. Man, the tactical station and prepare aft torpedoes and phasers." 

Harry nodded, spun around and moved to another console. He nimbly initiated a series of commands. 

"All set, Tom," he noted. 

"Good. Keep me informed of their location." 

"Aye, aye. Tom, they fired!" Harry warned. 

"Initiating evasive maneuver Beta 5," Tom automatically called out. The pilot banked the Flyer and easily avoided the first volley of pulsing projectile. Then he resumed his original course back to Voyager, but this time with a variety of zigs and zags thrown in. "Fire at will, Harry, but only the phasers. I have something else planned for the torpedoes." 

"Acknowledged." 

"How much longer until they reach the alien shuttle?" Tom asked, his hands in constant motion. 

"Seven point two minutes," Harry called out. The ops officer was busy trying unsuccessfully to harm the larger ship with phaser power, but the shots just ricocheted off the other ship's shields. 

"In approximately five and a half minutes, I want you to launch a photon torpedo aimed at the shuttle," Tom ordered. 

"You're going to blow her up?" 

"That's the plan." 

Harry grinned. He liked it. 

"I want this timed so the ship explodes as near to their shields as possible," Tom instructed. "I'm betting that whatever is powering that shuttle will have enough of an impact to disable the larger ship." 

"Well our weapons certainly don't appear to be having much of an affect," Harry replied. "I'll plot the alien ship's course." 

"Good. The timing has to be perfect to achieve the optimum effect." Tom swung the Delta Flyer away to avoid another volley. "You let me know just before you're going to fire, and I'll level off. I want your shots to be as accurate as possible." 

"Don't worry, Tom, I won't let you down." 

The pilot nodded, and concentrated on his task, knowing that there was nobody else he'd want manning tactical aside from Tuvok. 

Harry carefully monitored his instruments. The minutes ticked slowly by while Tom tried to avoid the enemy's fire. Finally the time was nearing and the distance between the little shuttle and the big ship closed. 

"It's time, Tom." 

"Acknowledged. I'll keep the Flyer steady for as long as I can. You just make sure that you blow that sonofabitch up." 

"Don't worry, I won't miss," Harry vowed. 

Tom held the ship steady, Harry held his finger on the button. 

"C'mon, just a little but further," Harry coaxed the large ship. "Just a little bit more, and we'll get you back for what you did to B'Elanna. Hold it steady, Tom." Harry cautioned and purposefully pressed the launch button and one strategically aimed photon torpedo shot out of the Flyers' torpedo bay and headed towards its target. 

"Torpedo away, Tom. Impact in 10 seconds, 9, 8..." 

Sweat broke out on the young ops officer's forehead as it continued the countdown. 

"5, 4...." 

Tom banked the ship to starboard to avoid being hit. 

"2...1!" 

The small ship exploded and neatly stopped the large ship in it's warp tracks. "GOT IT!" Harry yelled out as the flash of the blast illuminated the Flyer. 

"Way to go, Robin Hood," Tom called out happily. "Now let's get B'Elanna within transporter range so the Doc can look her over." 

"I thought I was Will Scarlett?" 

* * * * * * * * * 

"It's good to see that B'Elanna is on the road to recovery," Chakotay whispered in the Captain's ear. They were standing in sickbay near the main door. Across the room Tom Paris was seated on a chair beside the biobed where B'Elanna lay, her head propped up with pillows. The newly pipped ensign held her hand in both of his, and by the looks of it, was talking softly to her. 

"They belong together, don't they?" Janeway whispered. Chakotay who stood beside the Captain tilted his head in her direction, his lips grazed her ear. 

"Yes, I believe they do. A love like theirs is very special, it comes along once in a lifetime. My grandfather would say that it's a love that can't be denied. I envy the bond that they share." 

"I think maybe we should leave them alone, Commander. They have a lot to catch up on," Janeway looked up at her companion, her eyes lit with a softness that melted Chakotay's heart. "Maybe we could see if one of the holodecks is vacant and we could take a ride on the Orient Express again?" 

"Of course," he replied. "Since our last visit, I've added a few things...a little more character and a lot more mystery." Janeway smiled, she was starting to appreciate the quiet man that sat beside her on the bridge more and more. Galanty, Chakotay offered her his arm and the pair left Sickbay. 

"Tom, you don't have to stay," B'Elanna insisted. I'm not going to disappear." 

Tom Paris slowly stroked the back of her hand with the pad of his thumb, like one would rub a talisman for good luck. "Indulge me this little pleasure, B'Elanna," he replied. "I'm afraid if I leave this will all have been a figment of my imagination. This is the first day since your return that the Doctor has let me stay for more than a few minutes, and I work in here. I can think of nothing I'd rather do than be here with you." 

"I'm flattered, but I still look horrible." 

"To me, you're the most beautiful woman in the universe." 

B'Elanna smiled at the now familiar compliment. "You need your eyes examined, it's a wonder they let you fly," she countered. He smiled at the often heard rejoinder, he had missed her quick tongue. "Doc may have healed my bumps and bruises, but I still have a ways to go before I regain the weight I lost. I'm all skin and bones." 

"I still think you're gorgeous. Besides, it's not your fault you were in such poor condition when we found you." 

"No, that's true, it was them--the Salian's--they were responsible for most of it." 

"They were the ones that found you after the accident?" 

B'Elanna shook her head, her dark hair swung away from her face. It wouldn't be long before she regained the shine to her tresses, Tom thought, already they were looking better due to the supplements the Doctor had been administering. 

"No, that was another race--I never got their name.. I just called them the Big, Bad, and the Ugly. The were much like the Hirogen, except they didn't do that painting crap on their faces, and they stank like they hadn't bathed in months," B'Elanna crinkled her nose at the memory and then continued her tale. "They had three ships, a bit bigger than the Delta Flyer. We tried to get away but Mitchell did the best he could, we were outnumbered. You would have been proud of him, Tom." B'Elanna paused and bit her lip remembering the buoyant pilot. 

Tom remembered the memorial service they had held for Mitchell, and the words that he had spoke at the ceremony. Losing anyone on a ship the size of Voyager was difficult, but losing one of his pilots was especially difficult. 

B'Elanna's gaze captured Tom's and she smiled sadly. "He avoided the pair of alien ships as long as he could," she continued, knowing that Tom would want to know what had happened to his prot. "Finally, one of the ships put a tractor beam on us and pulled the shuttle toward them." She paused and reached for a glass of water that was on a stand next to the biobed. Her throat was parched not having spoken so much in such a long time. 

"You don't have to continue," Tom cautioned noting her discomfort. "Janeway will want to hear all the details in your report--don't feel that you have to relive this. 

B'Elanna replaced the now empty glass back on the stand. "Actually, Tom, I think it would help me if I talked about it. Do you mind?" 

"Of course not. I want to know what you experienced. The more I know, the more I can help you." 

B'Elanna's now healed lips curled up forming a smile. "You're too good to me, Tom." 

"Never, B'Elanna. I'll never be good enough." He smiled back and refilled her glass. 

"I think I better continue with the story before you sidetrack me." Tom looked up at her with those wonderfully innocent eyes, that were nothing but angelic. B'Elanna reached out and placed her palm against his cheek. Closing his devilish ocean blue eyes, Tom pressed his face against her hand before she finally withdrew it. He sighed and B'Elanna giggled. "Later, Tom, I promise." 

Tom grinned. "Okay, then continue." 

B'Elanna nodded. "Anyway, when I knew we were trapped, I knew that there was no way I was going to let those p'taQ have that shuttle. So I ordered Mitchell to purge the shuttle's databanks. Then..." B'Elanna swallowed down a lump in her throat. "...then I activated the ship's self-destruct mechanism just as we were boarded. They grabbed me first and when Mitchell tried to stop them, they killed him. Then one of the aliens took me back up to his ship and the other remained on board our shuttle. 

"After I was on the alien ship, I guess their sensors detected an increase in the shuttle's energy frequency and they realized what I had set in motion. The commander of the ship was in such a hurry to get away from the shuttle that he left one of his own men on board. It was only after the shuttle blew up and he realized that he had left one of his officers behind that he backhanded me across the face." 

"So that's how you got the scar," Tom motioned to his own cheek. 

"Yeah, I woke up hours later in the ship's brig. The bleeding had stopped but I could tell that I had lost a lot of blood... but I survived. Survived long enough for the Big, Bad, and the Ugly to dock at Oblig." 

"Where they put you up for sale on the slave market?" B'Elanna looked surprised that Tom knew about that. "The Captain explained to me that the alien tried to tell her that you belonged to his captain because he had bought you," Tom explained. 

"Yeah. The Salian captain bought me and brought me on his ship, with the intention of having me work there in the reclamation section--deglazing minerals and stripping wires. I tried to escape a few times, that's when they broke a few of my ribs." 

"And your jaw?" 

"My jaw? No, that happened when a fellow slave tried to force himself on me." 

Tom's face registered his shock at the information. 

"No," B'Elanna reassured him with a grin, "nothing like that happened, but to the day he dies, he'll be talking in falsetto." 

"You had me worried. So tell me how did you escape?" 

"Well, eventually, my Klingon half, started listening to my Human half. I calmed down...at least a bit, and started making myself more useful to the Salians. I repaired some broken machinery, helped troubleshoot some equipment problems. Soon they found that my talents were being wasted in Reclamation, so they transferred me to their shuttlebay," B'Elanna smiled. "Then I knew if I just played my cards right and was patient--which wasn't easy." Tom chucked. "That I'd eventually have my opportunity to escape." 

"It must have been difficult, even working in the shuttlebay." 

"It was, but I was determined. I wanted to go home, and when I finally flew away from that ship I felt so free. I was away from the Salians and I was on my way back to you." 

"I knew." 

"What?" 

"I could sense you coming, B'Elanna. At first I thought I was simply going crazy but--finally I knew that somehow we were--I don't know--connected, I guess. Every day the feeling it would get stronger." 

"It's true," B'Elanna whispered in awe, her chocolate eyes focused on Tom as if seeing him for the first time. "I felt the same thing." 

"What's true?" 

"When I was a child, I was told that if a couple is truly meant to be together that there was a bond that would form between them. An inseparable bond that was a stronger than titanium steel...a bond of the heart. Like most of the Klingon tales I heard when I was young, I discounted them. As, I've grown, I've found that a lot of truth lies within their words and parables. This one seems to be no different. I've known for a long time that we were meant to be together, Tom, but this just reinforces it." 

"B'Elanna, don't leave me again." 

"Never, for if I ever do, you'll carry me here," B'Elanna touched his chest just above his heart and then touched her own chest, "and I'll do the same." 

The End. 

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